Emotional masochism picture
Sad girl

What is Emotional Masochism?

Do you ever purposefully watch sad movies that make you cry? Maybe you prefer scary movies that strike fear into you. Whichever you like, I think you can understand that feeling happiness all the time is boring and it feels good to cry sometimes. However, some people take it too far and prefer to be sad, scared, or angry more often than usual. These people we might refer to as emotional masochists. What is an emotional masochist you say? Well, emotional masochism is when you like emotional pain but not necessarily physical pain.

Emotional masochists may often start arguments with people, so that people will get angry with them. They will often times enjoy when people are angry at them or when they get yelled at by others. Sometimes they will imagine sad daydreams in their head to feel even more sad and they listen to sad or angry music.

This type of masochism isn’t necessarily sexual and it usually isn’t. It also isn’t done for attention or personal gain. It isn’t a diagnosable illness as it’s not in the DSM-5, but it should be in my opinion. Although some people enjoy having it and live fine anyway, I’d say a good portion of people with this trait would rather not have it.

Drawbacks of Having It

Having this type of masochism can be a big problem for many, and it can create many difficulties in their lives. Emotional masochists may not be able to keep friends or jobs for very long.

I would know, because I suffer from this. I have a hard time keeping friends as I often can’t stay happy for too long unless I’m manic. Most people don’t want to hang out with emotionally unstable people.

What Causes Emotional Masochism?

Since it’s not a diagnosable disorder, there isn’t too much information on this problem. I’ve noticed though that it’s often times linked to mental illnesses and is something your born with. Well at least, for me, I was born like this. It could be genetics or maybe a personality trait.

In Conclusion

If you ‘suffer’ from this problem, I wish you well…. or maybe not. You’d probably prefer to be sad anyway….

All jokes aside, just because you are an emotional masochist doesn’t mean you like all emotional pain. As a result, if you find yourself to be suffering in a bad way from this, you should probably talk to a psychiatrist or therapist about it. It may accompany a mental disorder that you could need treatment for, so be sure to get it checked out if it’s interfering with your life.

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